Fuel Your Sex Drive
REASON 3: Lack of sensation
If sex doesn't carry the same physical charge it once did, the problem could be with your pelvic muscles. They tend to lose tone after pregnancy and with aging, resulting in diminished sexual pleasure. Pelvic exercises can ease the problem.
- DO KEGELS TO TONE UP. Similar to ancient Hatha Yoga exercises known as Aswini Mudra, kegel exercises are merely repeated contractions of vaginal muscles, as if you're holding in urine until you get to the bathroom, then releasing. To do them, focus on the vaginal muscles without tightening your buttock or thigh muscles, and be sure your bladder is empty. Experts recommend 10 sets of kegels at least three times a day.
- RECLAIM YOUR BODY. After being married for 43 years and taking care of her ailing husband before he passed away four years ago, Pat Oakley, 66, a massage therapist in Creedmoor, N.C., started tuning into her body again, especially after a former boyfriend called. "I started doing kegel exercises and self–pleasuring more often,"she recalls. "By the time I actually went out with him, I was ready for sex!"
REASON 4: Intercourse is uncomfortable
Vaginal dryness is common among women of all ages, although it can worsen with age. The first step is to find out what's causing it, says Donnica Moore, M.D., women's health expert and New Jersey–based president of DrDonnica.com. It can be a problem if you have undergone chemotherapy, says Moore, or take birth control pills or a range of other medications. Vaginal dryness is most common during times of hormonal imbalances—which can occur during menopause, after childbirth, while nursing, or due to stress and smoking. If you only notice dryness during acts of intimacy, says Moore, the problem is more likely related to your sex life. Go without sex for too long and your body may stop producing its own natural moisture.
- USE LUBRICANTS. A good quality lubricant can do wonders for a sex life that's dried up. At 37, after giving birth to her fourth child, Wendy Strgar says intercourse had become uncomfortable. After developing rashes from drugstore lubricants, she did some research and started making her own petrochemical– free products. The all–natural formulations worked, and she was able to enjoy sex with her husband again and their relationship bloomed anew.